“Fatherhood is not a matter of station or wealth, It is a matter of desire, diligence, and determination to see one’s family exalted in the celestial kingdom. If that prize is lost, nothing else really matters” (Ezra Taft Beson, Ensign, May 1981, p. 36)
If I were asked what the best times in my life would be I would have to say that there are 4. The first one was two years long and encompasses my whole mission, the second is when I started dating my wife, the third when I proposed and the fourth is when I got married. With each one of these moments I didn’t think that I could ever be happier but again I was proven wrong. On August 8th Jen and I had a little girl. I was about to say on August 8th we gave birth to a little girl but the truth is I just sat there and tried not to see what was happening with the fear that if I actually saw what was happening I would pass out. I always thought I was pretty good around blood but after that, no not really.
To give you some background I have been accepted to University of Washington Information School as a graduate student and I start school again at the end of September. When we tried to setup a time to move out of the apartment we are currently living in our Landlords told us that they really wanted us to move out at September 5th at the latest which meant that we have to get a place to live in Seattle by that time. It wouldn’t be that big of a deal but it ends up that our daughter was due on August 16th which meant that we would be traveling with a two week old if we had her by the due date and also taking into consideration that most first time pregnancies are late it wouldn’t be a good idea. We talked to the doctor in about May or June about the possibility of getting induced a week early. They said everything would be fine and it wouldn’t be that big of a deal. I think it was in our first appointment in July that the induction date was set for August 8th giving us a whole extra week. Both doctors that are at the clinic said that would be fine and there wouldn’t be any complications with the pregnancy from going a week early. We were really excited and started to prepare for everything. A couple days before we were to be induced it turned out that Jen was barely dilated 1cm and they were worried that the induction might end up in a C-Section but we felt that everything would be okay. Jen’s mom came in about 2:00pm on Thursday August 7th and we hung out with her for about 6 hours until we had to go into the Hospital to get everything going with the induction. I had no clue going into it what that all entailed so I found it somewhat fasinating, gross and disturbing but fascinating. At about 9:00pm the doctor talked to Jenny and said that she still was only dilated about 1cm and that he didn’t think that we should go through with it because our babies lungs might not be developed. Umm… that would have been nice to know when we talked about it originally but no one ever mentioned it until he called the day we were suppose to start the induction. Remembering that my mom always said that even though doctors think they are always right if you want something done, tell them. If they don’t listen, make them listen. So Jen and I decided to go with the feeling we had before because we knew that despite what the doctor said everything would be alright. The doctor finally showed up to do the Foley Catheter around 10:00 and said that the nurse would take it out in 6 hours and he left. About 2 minutes after the Foley catheter went in Jen started getting really bad Contractions. This went on for about an hour before the nurse came in and decided to check the catheter to see how jen was progressing. Nancy, the nurse, barely tugged on the catheter and it fell out. She checked Jen and it turned out that in about 45 minutes Jen had dilated to about 3 cm which was suppose to take 6 hours. So the contractions continued for about another hour before Nancy came in and asked if Jen wanted the Epidural. So around midnight Jen got the epidural. Between the epidural and the sleeping pill Jen received she was out pretty quick. Around 4:00am she was started on Pitosin. At around 7:30 the doctor came in and checked Jen. She was about 7 cm dilated and said that probably around noon the pushing would begin. We got excited I called my dad and told him the update. But little did we know Emma didn’t want to wait that long. Around 9:00 even through the Epidural Jen started to feel the pain of the contractions. We called the nurse after about 15 to 20 minutes of this and the nurse said that she was going to call the Anesthesiologist. The anesthesiologist came in after about 30 minutes and checked the hose and it ended up that there was a kink in the hose or something like that. The nurse left at around 10:00AM and told Jen that she would be back in about an hour to see how far along she was. Just as she left Jen looked at me and said one of the weirdest phrases I have ever heard. She looked at me and said “I feel like I have to poo really bad.” The best part was the face that she was making. I found it rather funny but I am not sure she found the humour in it. This continued in waves for about 15 minutes before she decided to page the nurse. Now on each of the beds there is an intercom type thing where you can push a button and it calls a phone out at the desk where you can talk to a nurse. When we have called the nurse in the past few hours a voice comes on and says “How can I help you?” Jen says whats wrong and the voice responds with “Okay the nurse will be in shortly.” This time however the conversation was entirely different.
The Voice: “How can I help you?”
Jen: “I feel like I really need to push.”
The Voice: “…” (the sound of her hanging up).
About 10 seconds later our nurse comes in and checks jen and much to the nurses amazement jen is dilated about 9 1/2 cm. The nurse asks if we took any birthing classes to which we said no because we both thought they would be pointless and in my opinion they probably were considering everything turned out okay and the nurse gave us a crash course of them in about 1 minute. After explaining what Jen needed to do and what I had to do, which consisted of Jen holding her knees and pushing like there was no tomorrow and me counting to ten, she said that Jen should push with the next contraction which Jen did. This continued for about 3 contractions until the nurse said “Umm… You don’t push anymore until the doctor gets here. Do you want to feel the babies head?” Now in my opinion, ewww. As I had a court side seat to this horrific circus I thought that was a really stupid question. Do you want to feel the head of a small human protruding from your Bajanko? Jen answered with a “No that’s all right.” I found that a very calm response as I wasn’t doing anything that I first grader couldn’t do and I wanted to yell “Screw that, that’s disgusting.” Now the time frame for the last few seconds ended up being very short. The nurse came in at about 10:10, told Jen to start pushing at 10:15 and told her to stop at around 10:18. The doctor arrived a few minutes later and within 5 minutes Emma was out. THe only time I looked over the sheet was when he said “Ahh there she is.” I looked over the blanket covering Jens Bajanko and looked at my child. I think Bill Cosby described a new born best. When I looked at Emma the only thought that came to mind was the quote by Bill Cosby that said “Congratulations, you gave birth to a Lizard.” Now I love my daughter more then anything else in the world. I want you people to know that but for those of you who have seen a new child before they have been wiped off they are purple, slimy and frankly disgusting. Now she is the most beautiful person I have ever seen besides my wife. I wouldn’t have changed this experience for the whole world. I love my daughter and I know that I will do anything that I can to make sure she and her mother are safe and sound. It always bothers me when fathers default on their duties, it did before and it really does know. How any man can look at a beautiful little child and hurt them in any way is beyond me. As the scriptures say “It is better that a mill stone be hung around their neck and they be cast into the depths of the sea then they harm these my little ones.” Well, this is my version of my the events, if you want to read my wifes they can be found at her blog. I will be posting more about her as the time comes.
